Motherhood Can Be Lonely

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Sometimes motherhood can be a lonely journey.

But it doesn’t have to be.

When my kids were born I felt a bit isolated, as most of my friends had their kids earlier, and they were at different places in their parenting journeys.

So I started putting myself out there. I went to ABA meetings. I met with babywearing groups. I went on “blind dates” with mums I met on Facebook. When a mum at a playgroup or park said “our kids play well together, we should catch up again”, I’d say “How about next Tuesday? Come to my place”.

There are women everywhere and I promise you have things in common with most of them. And if you have absolutely nothing in common, maybe that’s even better! You may have the most fascinating conversations with a person who’s life and experience are completely different to yours. You don’t need to look for differences between you and other people – that can drive you apart. Why not look for the similarities instead, and let those bring you together?

There’s probably even an acquaintance or distant cousin’s girlfriend who has already been trying to befriend you, but you’ve either been oblivious or keep letting life get in the way. In that case, all you need to do is start accepting invitations and saying yes.

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I went on a picnic yesterday with 3 awesome mamas – I didn’t know 2 of them before my kids were born, and the other I knew but wasn’t close to. If I allowed my kids undesirable behaviour, messy house, scheduled naps or eye bags hold me back, I wouldn’t have spent most of yesterday lying on a blanket in the sun watching my kids play with their friends while us mums talked about zumba classes, flushable wipes and baby daddies. We laughed over biscuits and mandarins and it was priceless.

I’m not saying it was easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is. Will you feel awkward? Probably. Will your life be better for having some girlfriends in it? Absolutely!

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3 Comments

  1. You are a good example of what I should be doing much more! I have unfortunately found that not many mums are as friendly as I’d hoped and have kept myself away in response but my daughter really likes to be social and I definitely need to try better to put myself out there again!!

  2. I love making mummy friends online (well blogger friends I mean). It gets hard in your 30s to make new friends that’s for sure – your groups are already pretty established.

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